Ask Dr. Luauna

Dear Dr. Luauna,
I work in a retail convenience store, my co-workers have been here longer than me, but they are stealing from the owner and constantly talk about him behind his back. They tried to persuade me to take products, too, saying it’s “Ok,” because we are underpaid. I am a Christian, what should I do? Signed, Walking On Eggshells

Dear Walking on Eggshells,
As a Christian you are going to have to stand for righteousness. Do not take anything that does not belong to you; no matter how your co-workers justify themselves, it is still stealing. You are going to have to demonstrate a strength of character; when you witness them stealing you should tell them you are going to notify your boss. You should also document the situation in detail; then follow through with the owner. He needs to know, this is not only a moral failure, it is illegal and seriously violates God’s principles. I Corinthians 6:9-10When it comes to the gossip and slander, do not participate; no matter who they are talking about. If someone freely gossips or slanders a person TO you; they will freely gossip and slander ABOUT you. Gossip and slander is very destructive; and ungodly. Proverbs 15:4, “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”

Do not be surprised at the outcome; there may be repercussions from your co-workers, stand strong; integrity and character are built through choosing righteousness. Deuteronomy 20:19, “I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;”

Dear Dr. Luauna,
My brother called child protection because he found out my husband hit our kids; the kids were taken away. I love my husband; we have been married for 10 years, he has continuously hit me and started hitting the kids a few years ago, he always says he’s sorry, he said he would go to church. Should I stay? Signed, Hoping for Change

Dear Hoping for Change,
I have worked with hundreds of women in your situation in our Victorious Homes, you should leave! Thank God your brother called, the children are innocent and should not be subjected to violence for
one moment.

Neither should you, you are in danger. For some reason, you have not left yet; maybe you think you deserve the violence, or no one else will love you, or it is normal for him to hit you, or he can change or
you have no where to go. These are many of the reasons women in your position stay, let me tell you none of them are true.

Can he change? It would be good for him to go to church anyway; without Christ he will never change. Your husband needs to recognize his wrong behavior and he needs complete deliverance from his violent nature; this can only come by the power of Jesus. Yet, you should not be his punching bag while he goes through this process, it will not happen overnight.

There is immediate help available for you; the police will help you and there are homes for victims of domestic violence. You have to be strong, make a firm decision and follow through for your sake and if
you want your children back. I will be praying for you!

Dear Dr. Luauna,
There are countries all around the world that do not have the freedoms we have, freedom of speech, freedom to exercise religion and many others. We should never forget the men and women who served in the military to gain liberty for us and to protect our freedoms. May God bless them and God bless America! Signed, Grateful for Freedom

Dear Grateful,
Traveling all around the world, I agree with you, not only do we have freedoms other do not, we have truly been blessed by the Lord. I, too am grateful, for every person who has served in our Armed Forces, in wartime and to preserve the peace. Whenever I meet a service man or woman I thank them, it is the least we can do. They have persevered through long or multiple separations from their families; some have endured physical injuries; mental anguish; and other hardships only they know. I pray continually for them and for their families, they have willingly answered the call of freedom’s voice, sacrificing and paying the high price for the liberties we enjoy.
As we prepare to celebrate our independence this 4th of July let us not only honor our military, but let us honor the One whom has blessed the United States of America. Let us serve the Lord with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength, that our nation may continue in the strength and blessing which God has graciously bestowed upon us. Without Him and the great sacrifice of Jesus upon the cross, we would have no hope for now or for eternity. Keep your hand upon us, Oh Lord!

Psalm 33:12, “Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people He has chosen as His own inheritance.”

Dear Dr. Luauna,
My son was killed in Iraq as a brave soldier, he signed up when he turned 18, and died before his 21st birthday. I am not angry at God or anyone, he was a Christian, I just want to honor his bravery., as a parent. I also know there are other parents who need comfort in their grief. Signed, Proud Mother

Dear Proud Mother,
While I strongly agree with you, we should give great honor to our fallen military men and women, how can we ever thank them for the great sacrifice they have made for us? John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” I also want to thank you, and every mother and father who raised such noble young men and women of honor who voluntarily answered the call of duty to defend our freedom. Unfortunately, the consequences of war have become a tragic reality to many families across the world. Ecclesiastes 3:8, “A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace.”

Jesus said in Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.” He was the greatest example of laying down His life for our freedom! I cannot imagine the grief of losing a child, yet, because you have, may the Lord use you to help bring comfort to others. Thank you for thinking of others during your time of mourning. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” Thank you for your sacrifice!

Dear Dr. Luauna,
With Father’s Day right around the corner it makes me sad. My father, was a good Christian man who died suddenly two years ago. The problem is I was not in good standing with him before he died, I said harsh things I did not mean. I am haunted everyday by this, especially at this time of year, my mom says he forgave me, how can find peace? Signed, Haunted by Harsh Words

Dear Haunted by Harsh Words,
It is never easy to lose someone you love, it is especially devastating when it is unexpected and your relationship is strained. There is hope for you, you can still find peace; the good news is your father was a Christian and he did forgive you for the things you said before he died; now any misunderstandings, arguments, disappointments, conflicts are really over and a thing of the past. Your father loved you with the love of Christ, He forgave you as your Heavenly Father forgives you. You must forgive yourself! You have already acknowledged your mistakes, Jesus will give you the strength to move forward. I will not pretend that these are easy emotions to overcome, yet with Christ there is comfort and healing deep within.
Philippians 3:13, “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

To every reader whose father is still living; cherish him, honor him and do not take the moments you have together for granted. Happy Father’s Day!

Dear Dr. Luauna,
My wife left me and our kids, she does not have contact with any of us. I have been raising the children myself; they are beautiful kids, a boy and a girl; 14 and 17 years old. My wife has been gone for several years now. My single friends from church are trying to set me up on blind dates, I am hesitant because of my kids. Should I start thinking about marriage? Signed, Single Father

Dear Single Father,
Your instinct is correct, you should wait to start dating until your children are grown. They must be your first priority right now, they need your complete attention and dedication during their crucial teenage years. Now would not be the right time to bring a woman in your life, they need extra stability from you because they have been abandoned by their mother. They need healing from rejection and heart break. They need assurance, Hebrews 13:5.

It is not easy being a single father, and the heartache you had to endure from your wife walking away from your family. Honestly, you need time to completely heal your broken heart as well. Many people in your circumstance, whether single moms or single dads make the mistake of not waiting, bringing more heartache and brokenness upon their themselves and their children.

Later on, when your work is done with your kids; then pray for wisdom in dating and possible marriage. Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Having raised my children, as a single mother, it can be done. I thank God for faithful fathers, hats off to you as a single parent. Proverbs 20:7, “The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed.”

Dear Dr. Luauna,

I am a Christian man, almost 50 years old, the father of four beautiful, intelligent children. The problem is I feel inadequate, because I have worked at a manual labor job for years and I cannot afford to pay for my kids to go to college or give them other luxuries in life. My wife has never complained but as a man, I feel like a failure. Signed, Failure

Dear Failure,
The measurement of your success is not in money or possessions, you are not a failure. Your success is in your Christian leadership and example in your home, which has a greater impact upon your children than anything else, Joshua 1:8.

You are valuable as a man in the eyes of God, because you are leading your children into righteousness by serving the Lord. Second, you have been faithful to your wife, bringing stability to your home and an excellent example for your children, Proverbs 28:20. You have been served at your work faithfully, working as unto the Lord, Ephesians 6:5.

The riches of this world are fleeting, Proverbs 23:5, “Will you set your eyes on that which is not? For riches certainly make themselves wings; They fly away like an eagle toward heaven.”

There are so many broken families whose children are spiritually, psychologically, and physically damaged because of “dead beat” dads. There are so many daughters looking for love in the all the wrong places and sons who mistreat women because of absent or unfaithful fathers.

Your stability in Christ as a man and father has more value than money. Proverbs 22:1, “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold..”

You are special, I thank the Lord for good men like you, faithful and hardworking fathers! God bless you!

Dear Dr. Luauna,
I am 15 years old and my friends are having a party this weekend when their parents go out of town. There will be drinking and drugs there, I want to fit in, but it seems wrong. My friend from church said we shouldn’t go, what should I do? Signed, Fighting Peer Pressure

Dear Fighting Peer Pressure,
Your friend is right, you should not go. First of all, underage drinking is illegal and so is using illegal drugs. Teenagers, Christians and non-Christians alike, all over the world are being tempted to fall into
the same trap of peer pressure. These friends you want to fit in with will only lead you down the wrong path. Matthew 7:13-14, “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.”

The decision you are facing is very crucial for your future, will you follow the crowd or will you follow righteousness? I Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.”

Your life will be filled with these choices and temptations. As you practice righteousness, it will be your natural reflex to choose what is right. Your moral character will be built, you will become an expert and well-trained to make legal, moral and righteous choices even if you have to stand alone.

Your good choices can also lead others to do what is right. Read Psalm 1:1-6, and Romans 12:1-2, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice,
holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and
perfect will of God.”

Be strong, love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul and strength!

Dear Dr. Luauna,

I’ve been a Christian for almost 10 years. Some of my co-workers claim to also be Christians, yet they tell dirty jokes and constantly talk about partying and going out to clubs. I do not want to judge, but they always say I am “super spiritual,” and I should lighten up, should I? Signed, No Compromise

Dear No Compromise,
Do not lighten up or compromise with sin or unrighteousness. In these last days, the Bible describes the atmosphere of compromise and unrighteousness which will saturate the world and even the church, 2 Thessalonians 3:1-5, “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure than rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!”
Isaiah 5:20 says there is danger for those who call evil good and good evil.

You can know the true Christians because they follow the commandments of Christ, the Bible says, if we say we know God, we will keep His commandments, I John 1:3-6. Many people go to church, yet they do not obey God. What should you do about your co-workers, love them, pray for them but do not join with them in compromise. Ephesians 5:3-4, “But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.”

When Joshua was faced with the same choice in the Bible he said, choose this day whom you will serve, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord! Joshua 24:15 Be strong! Stand for righteousness!

Dear Dr. Luauna,
I just found out my 15 year old daughter is pregnant. Everyone has been advising me to take her to have an abortion. This decision hurts my heart deeply because I cannot imagine taking an innocent life when my daughter made a mistake. What should I do? Signed, Heart Sick

Dear Heart Sick,
Our society thinks nothing of abortion as the solution to an inconvenient pregnancy, yet you are right, an innocent life is in the balance. Unfortunately, the abortion clinics and their supporters are deceiving our teens to think abortion is just a “procedure,” instead of murder and the baby is just a “fetus.”

Teenagers are lining up for abortions, because “safe sex” counseling is ineffective. Young women are told they have a right to “choice”, yet the choice should be made in the bedroom not the abortion clinic. I do not have room in this column to describe the horrors of the abortion clinic, they are very real.

You should not take your daughter to have an abortion, you will be saving her from another horrible mistake she will have to live with the rest of her life; the guilt and shame of taking an innocent life. Not only will there be physical damage, these young girls are subjected to emotional and psychological damage as well. You should take your daughter to a Christian Pregnancy Care Clinic where she will hear the truth about her pregnancy, find out what the Bible says about abortion and counselors will pray with her. She will hear the truth, not just propaganda.

What does the Bible say about this subject? In Exodus 23:7, it says do not kill the innocent. So many couples who cannot have children would love to adopt a baby. Your instincts are right, please bring your daughter to church, I have worked with many young women in her situation. God loves her and the little baby growing inside! Be strong, I’ll be praying for you!